Are you looking for that perfect someone to share your life with? Finding that elusive ideal mate doesn't come that easily for most of us because we haven't learned the importance of being very clear in our thoughts what type of person would truly make us happy. When we are projecting a "murky image" of our desires it is nearly impossible for the universe to deliver a perfect package. Consider all the various traits you are seeking in a person (kindness, generosity, wealth, honesty...etc.). Do you have these same traits? Like attracts like. When we portray the images that we wish to attract in ourselves we naturally magnetize people with these same traits toward us. You need to take action - pay attention to your gut instincts being sure to follow them to see where they lead you. This is important, so listen up. Don't think you can just stay at home every evening sitting in front of your computer or television and the universe is going to plant your perfect mate on your doorstep. Oh, I think it could happen that way, but becoming an active participant in this process will speed up the results. If you suddenly get an urge to go to the market when you aren't hungry, go anyway. Your perfect mate is likely squeezing the tomatoes that very minute! Or, if it strikes you that you ought to attend a circus in a neighboring town, do it even if you hate the smell of elephant dung and normally wouldn't dream of going near the circus. You just never know who might be flying in the air waiting for you to catch them when they fall from life's trapeze. Make A Manifest List - Write out your desires on paper. This exercise is no different than selecting the specs for your new automobile. You pick and choose the characteristics you like. Just remember, any doors left open are an invitation to chance. How adventuresome are you? Are you wanting to be married? Or are you are just seeking a friend to date without strings attached? You'll get the idea. Being specific clears up the murky images, the details are important. I will share with you my list of characteristics for my ideal mate and why its important to me. I truly believe in Ask and it is giving. I'm confident that I will have all that's on my list. You see I'm not looking for someone who's perfect as I"m not prefect myself... he wont always say or do the right things, he doesn't have to look like George Cloonly, all though he is not perfect. HE is perfect for me.
MY PERFECT MATE:
1. Honest and Open: We Leo's are not really known for our tact and diplomacy. Being honest and open ourselves, we truly appreciate those qualities in our partner. I may not always like what he says or agree with his views, but I’ll always respect him for stating them. It also matters how he treats other people. If he lies to them, he’ll probably lie to me as well.
2. Intelligent and well-informed: You can’t really expect a smart, well-read woman like me to be with a man who’s not as smart, or smarter, than I am, do you? Just kidding. But if he wants to get my attention and keep it, intelligent conversation is a good way to start. I have a low threshold of tolerance for ignorant people and bores.
3. Secure and confident: If there’s one thing that’s a complete turn-off in a man, its insecurity. So is arrogance. But a healthy measure of confidence that’s firmly grounded in a strong sense of self-worth, is very, very sexy indeed.
4. Sunny disposition: As an optimist, and someone extremely sensitive to negative vibes, I would much rather be with a man who’s positive and optimistic. Seeing the humour in a situation will help us get through tough times. Moodiness is tolerable (I’m moody myself), but if the black clouds never show signs of abating, I’ll take a long rain check.
5. Encouraging, Allowing, Appreciative: No controlling, manipulative, abusive types for me, thank you. Stay away from the man who uses subtle, insidious tactics to screw with your mind. He’ll chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you thinking that you’re the basket case - when he’s really the one with the poisonous attitude. This behaviour is unacceptable - a deal-breaker.
6. Accepts me the way I am: One of the most attractive qualities in a man is his willingness to accept me the way I am without wanting to change me. And even more attractive is his ability to be forgiving of my faults (and I have a few), especially at that touchy time of month.
7. Independent: No Mama’s boys allowed on my campus. If you still live with your parents and have this little codependent thing going with your mom, you’ll score high on my Ewww rating. If you expect a woman to cook, clean and do your laundry, you need a maid, not a mate.
8. Caring and affectionate: I simply love hugging and cuddling kissing but only once we’ve gotten to that stage, not before. I’m big on PDA (Public Displays of Affection) and I love a man who’s not afraid to show the world that he cares.
9. Compassionate and liberal: No racists or bigots, please. Take your prejudices elsewhere. A man’s attitude for those less privileged than himself says a lot about his character.
10. Loves children and pets: I wouldn’t even consider dating a man who doesn’t love kids. And must love my mutt.
11. Respects himself and others: This is a biggie! Disrespect is a complete turn-off, a huge deal-breaker for me. A man who loves and respects himself will have healthy boundaries, and will respect others boundaries, mine included. If he consistently violates your boundaries, it shows he has little respect for others.
12. Spiritual: I’m a spiritual (not religious) person. I’m not materialistic. I don’t care how big your car, house or bank balance is. What matters is the size of your heart. I do pretty well for myself, but I like the simple life. So if money, cars and luxuries are all you care about, I know we’re not meant for each other. I prefer men with a spiritual bent of mind, because I know we’ll have lots to discuss and explore. Tantra, anyone?
13. Not stingy Generous: If a man is stingy with his money, you can bet he’ll be stingy with his time and affection. As far as I’m concerned, Scrooge is a character who belongs in a Dickens novel, not across my dinner table.
14. Takes care of his health: This is another biggie for me. A man who takes care of his body and exercises regularly is attractive, because it means he cares about himself.
15. Open to trying new things, having new experiences: When a man is afraid or reluctant to try anything new it tells me that he’s either afraid of change or rigid in his thinking, both very unattractive qualities. I’m adventurous and open to learning more about life, so I want to be with someone who thinks the same way.
16. Has goals and works towards them: It’s a real turn-on when a man has a sense of purpose and is going somewhere with his life. A man like that is more likely to respect and support my goals and dreams, and that could make for a great partnership.
17. Believes in being friends first: If sex is all he’s got on his mind, he’s sniffing up the wrong skirt. I’m not into casual relationships. I want someone I can talk to and have fun with. A guy who’s ok with watching a movie or a concert, going for a walk or listening to music. Friendship is the foundation of a good relationship. Sex will happen, when it feels right, and not before.
18. Willing to devote time and effort: Is he willing to put in the time and effort it takes to build a relationship? If he isn’t, then he’s probably not very interested. And if he can’t make the time, neither will I.
19. Available: Another biggie! Has a open heart, not a serial dater or commitment-phobic. I have no intention of being the string-along.
20. Loyal: not only to me, but to family and friends as well. I'm a very loyal person and i want someone in life I can always count on and trust.
21. Great in bed: I put this last, but it’s a biggie, too. Of course, he’s gotta be passionate, romantic. I really love a man who knows how to please me, becuase I always aim to please my man.
Summing up, I’d only consider dating a man I respect and admire. I can’t respect a loser (all he’ll get from me is sympathy), someone who has serious issues to deal with (I’m not his therapist unless he's willing to become one of my clients and I'll be charging by the hour), or a man who hasn’t achieved a measure of success in his own field.
Valentina Lovett
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